Zaki at School

Much delayed videos of 'silly' Zaki at school with classmates. Teacher says that she always tries to be funny. I think she got it from mum.

Beef Stew, Woohoo.

Pool at Bridge School (now pool of tears, mine and Zaki's)

It's third week of school and Zaki doesn't seem to be excited attending classes already. So far. she's missed 3 days already. I'm bummed out and can't help think it's all my fault.

She had a great first week until I had to fly to Cebu and mess the routine. The 2nd week, when I was away, teacher said that she demanded to go out after snacks and take her meds which I usually give except I'm not around that time. That's when trouble began and she wasn't too happy in school since. Saw it myself when I came back and took her to school that Friday and she was crying her lungs out the whole morning, I mean more than 3 hours with 4 different teachers trying to comfort her and all the while she was mumbling and pointing to me outside saying, "daddy". Excruciating.

I guess she felt betrayed and could be that she was fearful I'd leave her suddenly again.

Strangeways, here we come.

What's with the title? When you ask her what's the name of her school, instead of Bridge School, I'm sure it's what I'm hearing.

School Dazed

'Twas Zaki's first day at school. Look how excited she is :(

No need to point out who's more excited than the kids and the teachers.

More pics to come as soon as I get over it.

Puzzles

If there ever was something Zaki could do that really amazes us (besides her sharp memory for people's names, new wave music & DC and Marvel comic book characters), it's solving puzzles.

Posted a few videos which I took on a hot summer afternoon. Really. Although, both kid and dad do have penchant for looking skimpy at home:-) Our way of saving soap and water for laundry.

Spidey



Pooh Part 1

Wait till she learns to master two 50-pc Justice League puzzles we bought her. She's almost done with it and on her way to really piece those without much help. Look for Part 2 of her Pooh puzzle video and another surprise one on stating her identity on Youtube

Pensive

IMG_0551,
originally uploaded by Zakishymn.

Zaki looking pensive when in reality what being with her is - EXpensive. No worries, though - she being with us is more than enough payment!

Duyan

IMG_0561,
originally uploaded by Zakishymn.

Lying in the 'duyan' or hammock is one thing people won't be able to get too much off. Maybe it's the outdoor feeling of being care-free is what we normally associate with or maybe, it's because we all secretly long to feel like babies again.

(Unfortunately, they had to take this duyan down after a few days to give way to something more pleasurable to them: drinking tables and benches made of 'kawayan'. Zaki and I dig those, too)

Almost 6 Months Too Late (but what the heck)

There was a time when things weren't really going for us back then when Zaki was born. Still, we had to find sources of strength, hope and inspiration in nearly all places we laid our eyes and mind on. Fortunately, we found those both offline and online.

Having friends, relatives, loved ones and medical personnel for support and help did get us through a lot. And never did I discount the possibility of music to soothe our aching selves. And as if on cue, I was able to find my way back to the Pale Fountains and to a sanctuary where people who were likewise touched by Monsieur Head's music kept the flame of a certain musical taste we could all relate to, alive.

Oh, how I deeply regret not being able to give my timely appreciation last December. Just so that I will always remember their kind words which I failed to acknowledge properly because of Eedious. Shameful.

"Zaki, call them Dad's kindred souls". Boss that.

Shacknet.

Thank you for the way ...

Appeal for CAH kids

Been having a really hectic week and going about completing Zaki's requirements before he gets officially enrolled in school this June.

But now to more important matters.

Just so you might know, Zaki and about 80 other kids who suffer from CAH need daily medications in order to live. Zaki takes two kinds of those daily and like the others would have to take the medicines for the rest of her life to be able to control the negative effects brought about by having this condition.

Unfortunately, those medicines are not available for sale in the Philippines. But thanks to kind souls, we get to receive donations of these medicines and distribute them under the support group which I am a part of.

For about a month now, we've ran out of hydrocortisone and too bad, our order from the local affiliates who we are working with, still isn't available. Zaki's stocks are also quite few and we cannot afford to lend some as what we've done earlier this year. As a result, most kids (who belong to families who live well below the necessary comforts) are now put under risk and are forced to take substitute steroids which doesn't have the same positive effect.

And now comes the really troubling part.

Our friends have already responded quickly to the appeal and sent out medicines through a courier. Unfortunately, owing to some quirks of not being exactly the same department or division but still under DHL, the courier is asking we pay an outrageously huge amount for the tax unlike in the past where we have been given exemption after presenting the required documents.

Despite an appeal that the medicines are strictly for indigents and patients, the contact person wouldn't budge and remains solidly behind payment and not working out a compromise. Now, it's really not just about money. It would be easier to pay but why should we if we think we are justified in what we are asking and besides the money could be very well spent buying additional medicines.

And so the problem persists at the expense of kids with CAH.

If you have an idea on what step we need to take, please share.

Owe you forever if you could help.

First Plane Ride - Cebu Trip

First Plane Ride - Cebu Trip,
originally uploaded by Zakishymn.

If only keeping those seatbelts fastened were as easy as sending photo posts from Flickr. Haaayyy.

Makin' Up

It has been 2 months ago since I've posted something here. Blame it on several factors such as work, uhhhmm ... work and work. But really, it is not as though we never had enough good times with Zaki during the past months. On the contrary, Zaki had a couple of first experiences - first time to meet cousins from the US, first time to ride a bike and just a few weeks ago, her first plane ride. Enough said, here are the pics which paint a thousand words.

With cousin Gabby

At my Lola's house in Silang

Where's the other photos? Just head over and view them at Flickr

Floppy-socked kid

It never fails to get my attention the moment I see something that bears his name. Every time.

All this time I wasn't sure what the attraction was; maybe it is the wizardry or maybe the sport. But seeing this photo made me realize it was something else....

It was like as he was playing to world adulation, he wasn't really there. His eyes betray he was somewhere else - searching for answers.

The Pistol.

Yes, Zaki. Mr. Maravich's life captivates Dads. Almost a year ago, too.

Maybe next year, Mr. Kriegel would send me a complimentary book.

2008

Just a couple of pics I took of Zaki via my camera phone. Ain't that bad, don't you think ...
See if you can spot her mummy ...

One and the same

Looking over at the image at the top of this blog would give you an inkling of two things I'm really passionate about. Can you guess what those two are? Yes, graphics and transparency. Makes sense but no....

Read for clues here.

Recession fears

There are times when news certainly brings you down. More than Heath's death, there are some things that are equally painful to hear. Like this one from, sigh, Yahoo! Of all companies!

Came across this great article (really!) on things to do in case you lose your job this year. Or if you care about finding one.

One more thing. It would be easy to say that we all should "live within our means", but I do believe it's true (however difficult). Here's a nice article on care of personal finances, as recession sure seems just about here already.

Last Night. Lost Knight. Dark Knight.

Last night. Zaki just cajoled me again into buying her a new 'Dark Knight' (circa Batman Begins) figure amidst the surprised looks from the salesladies at SM who kept offering her princess' items and other cute characters instead. Never thought Heath would bring a whole new meaning to the item and the day past.

Lost Knight. Ledger appeared as a Knight, remember? But simply brilliant in Brokeback Mountain!

Dark Knight. After Spidey and Silver Surfer: Fantastic Four, Zaki and I had reason to be excited watching a movie again soon that we've repeatedly watched the new trailers available. Snicker, cackle, maniacal laugh and all.

[Joker] "Let's put a smile in that face of yours!'

Sob.

Buy, bye

One of the few words, albeit annoying, that Zaki has already mastered. And taking the cue from her, upon seeing this news, Buy!

Reminded me of 'Finding Neverland'. Great movie while Zaki loved the theme.

Bless Krispy Kreme, Go Nuts Donuts + Gatorade

No offense to Dunkin Donuts (my wife and I do love Bavarian!), but I really need to extend our gratitude to Krispy Kreme, Go Nuts Donuts and Zaki's official beverage aside from milk in times of trouble, Gatorade (Tropical Fruit Flavor?/ Red one) for keeping her up the week after she got out from the hospital.

You see even though she looked quite well by Christmas day already, Zaki still was having watery stools for about 5 more days upon checking out of the hospital. She wasn't eating and was complaining of aching tummy - although stool exams were negative. Good thing she kept eating Donuts and drinking Gatorade. It saved all of us the horror of having her put on IV again and more importantly abetting any CAH related crisis. Slowly, she finally felt really good by the New Year. So were we.

Uhmm, one other thing. Prayers did help, too.

Not so fast, Santa ...

And just when I thought that we'd finally be enjoying a regular, worry-free Christmas, here's what made this year unforgettable ...

1. Just finished my Christmas blog and thought I was done for the week and Zaki woke up almost at lunchtime and went straight to the PC asking to watch Spidey and Dark Knight trailers.

2. She did not drink milk all 12 hours. She still hasn't had any meal and we needed to give her daily medicines. We forced her to drink even a few ounces and sneaked in the meds and we thought that was it.

3. Now she started vomiting. For almost 3 hours, it never stopped. Tried several times to give oral meds but would just vomit again and again. Kept calm. Kept on giving water with rehydration solutions. We're a mess!

4. Left for hospital and back to familiar scene for us. Time was ticking and no way am I going to be reasonably patient, with traffic and hospital personnel. She was put on IV, gave steroidintravenously. She was back to bubbly self even with needle stuck on her left hand. Waited to finish almost 2 small bottles of IV and went home by 6 pm.

5. She was playing with her toys and being her demanding self. Made calls to family and friends that everything's fine. Guess, we spoke too soon.

6. By 9 pm she still wasn't feeding. So we tried milk again. She vomited once again and complained of aching tummy. We're too tired to keep an eye on her and felt weak to care for her ourselves. By 12, we're back in hospital.

7. She doesn't look weak, it's just that we were worried that she won't be recovering all the fluids she lost that day if she can't eat anything. And believe me, it is as if she coughed up a pail of fluids! Her stomach must be really quizzy! Submitted watery stools for lab (found out just before we went home that results were negative).

8. IV needle now on right hand but still as 'hyper' as ever. If you've seen her at the hospital, even with the IV dangling, you'd never think she 's sick or anything. We all got some good sleep, maybe except Leriz. (I was tired and felt confident already.)

9. "Tita Doc" the pediatrician came. We're cleared to go home but still no definite cause. I suspect that its purely CAH-related. Wife says maybe its time Zaki needed stronger dose and remembered that Zaki's been unusually 'head-sweaty' the last few days. Eerily similar 3 years ago just after birth when she was really such a pity to look at.

10. She has eaten already and drank a couple bottles of milk. Still bothered by quizzy stomach
passed watery but non-smelly stool but fine nonetheless. Mother and daughter are sleeping now as I get to catch a glimpse of them from time to time. Jut praying for the best.

Honestly, I was more angry than worried yesterday. I felt we were remiss, not providing the care that we should be doing and felt unreasonable looking for any clue proving that Leriz may have done something that contributed to Zaki's ailment. Felt sorry for that. Deep inside, I was angry at myself for what happened because ever since I became busy with work, Zaki started to have those episodes. Anyway, guess I should know better.

It wasn't till all three of us were in bed that it occurred to me that there was something different about Zaki. Even with CAH, I never treated her condition as special. Yes, we gave her medicines religiously everyday but still felt she was like any other kid. Special, yes but just like the others.

It was when we were in bed and I was watching MI3 the whole time, that Zaki never 'relaxed' for even 5 seconds. She kept herself busy, drawing, shouting, arguing with Leriz, singing and wrestling the poor pillow and really gripping it tightly between her arms and legs (Leriz even took out the rubber pacifiers which she bit like a pitbull). This went on for about the whole HBO movie. And it will take 2 more hours before Leriz and I pretended to be asleep so she'd shut her eye, too.

Deep inside, I just wanted to hug Zaki. I felt that she was struggling with forces beyond her - something inside, like hormones that she can't control. I was looking through her eyes and wanted to reach her but felt she was lost with all that energy that kept overpowering her. Physically and mentally, I think she'll be one of the strongest and brightest kids. Or a super hero perhaps. No kidding.

I just hope I will remain half as strong as these two very dear persons. There's no belittling CAH. I'll try to remember that.

Merry Christmas!

Christmas is upon us

It has been months since the last post. Yes, been quite busy with work and the grind of being in front of the Macbook - searching, reading and typing really has taken it's toll on me. But there's no denying that the holidays brings with it a lot of positive cheer.

We're not talking of the usual gifts and presents here, though. As one gets, uhh, old certain material things just don't cut it anymore, even as Zaki continues to accumulate what I call ' week-long obsessions'. Christmas is much more than that, I bet.

It is about friends and families, and about doing something really relevant with our lives. Not to sound preachy but it's true. Doing things you love brings a lot of goodwill. But doing things, the difficult and the ones you'd rather avoid, out of love is empowering and magical!

And Zaki makes sure that we learn that ... Merry Christmas to all, Maligayang Pasko sa lahat!

Blog Action Day for the Environment

It is not Oct 4 but it sure feels like it. Why? Because 14,000 blogs and 12 million readers have united to make this day special. Just like the time when a simple man was recognized for his sacred devotion through his earthly mission. His name is Francis.

Anyway, St. Francis never really wanted anything extraordinary while he lived. Yet, people who have met him could feel how much he cared for all things. He spoke and listened to plants, trees and practically anything. He believed that divinity existed in all of creation and that to care for them is to return the gift of love he has received that he could do nothing else.

I have often taken this for granted. Yet, I can truly say that deep inside we long for the embrace of nature and its spirit-renewing qualities. We need not go someplace else to re-connect. Sure, the lure of majestic white beaches or nature parks can be quite tempting. But aren't the small patches of grass or the ordinary plants and trees within our surroundings just as beautiful and can offer solace because it still is after all, a part of the whole.

So, next time you water the plants or cut and trim the grass, think of it not as a chore but but a means of giving back and doing your share. For all we know, saving water or re-using/recycling things may just do more for you than anything else. For truly, each of us is a part of one big creation. (Photo courtesy of http://www.americancatholic.org/e-News/FriarJack/fj092607.asp)